As the sad story of Whitney Houston’s death flooded the news this weekend it made me think. What would make a mega star, someone who appeared to have it all, a woman who loved music and felt so blessed to have the gift of that amazing voice, sabotage in such an extreme way? Why would she hide in a fog of drugs and alcohol? While I can only guess, as I don’t really know her, I imagine it was some of the same beliefs and fears that you and I face when we reach for success.
One of the most common fears people face when experiencing success is the fear of becoming a target. The truth is when we become leaders or stand out for our accomplishments some people do criticize. During the height of Whitney’s career she was criticized for being a “goodie-goodie”, too perfect, a diva… Her every move was followed and talked about. So yes, success and fame can make you the target. The truth also is that success draws support and love. However, your brain naturally focuses on the criticism. It’s a survival mechanism. Think back to your last work review. Your boss can say all sorts of positive things but if he/she mentions one area that needs improvement that’s what you focus on. Right?
The question then is, “How do we work with our brain to not just survive but thrive during success?” The first step is to watch what we focus on. By focusing on the fear of being the victim we tend to draw people to us that will attack us. It’s just how it works. So the way to avoid this is to begin focusing on people who support us. Focus on how, with your success you can help others and the feeling of accomplishment and joy that will come your way. My guess is that when you do that, you will be surrounded by support and love. Will there be an occasional hater? Of coarse, but you will have your support system in place and your focus on what you are doing to change the world. You will have created a safe place and from that place of safety you will be free to create as much success as you wish.
Have an amazing Monday!
Leanna Fredrich, Mindset Coach, Adv. EFT, Adv. Psych-K